Tears of JOY.

Sometimes...If not most of the time... When you are in a situation that is trying/challenging/scary/BIG/etc., you feel like there is no way out. You want out, but you feel trapped. Like you are under water...Drowning.

Several years ago, when I was pregnant with Taysia and her Father ended up going to prison, I got to begin my journey of learning how to stand up in the face of what felt like death, and either fight through it, or let it kill me. I fought through it. But, on the other side, I didn't really find any sort of relief. I had many more years of feeling like I was constantly drowning.

I made decisions that almost cost me anything and everything that mattered to me. I wasn't able to work consistently. I was continually faced with all sorts of challenges and scary things that overwhelmed me MOST of the time. And in that state of overwhelm, I'd shut down. Shut off. I'd give up.

Well, finally, in April of this year (2014) I decided I was DONE. I was SO done letting the tough times win. I was SO done with not being able to provide and take care of my kids, myself, my family. I was done being self defeating. I was done ruining my life by doing NOTHING to live.

April feels like a lifetime ago... And there were many times that I felt like I was doing SO much to change internally yet NOTHING was changing. And no one was seeing those changes. I wasn't even recognizing myself for those changes.

In May, I signed up as a Health and Fitness Coach with Team Beachbody. I had no idea how I was going to do this. I wasn't in shape, I wasn't healthy, I was not in a great head space. I couldn't be a coach for other people if I didn't have my life together. AND, even though I'd decided to become a coach, that wasn't going to pay the bills. What was I going to do so that we didn't end up losing the home we've been in? We were running out of options for any kind of assistance. We'd been waiting on my partners disability stuff to come through, IF it came through. I KNEW that I had made a great decision to become a coach. But I also had NO idea what I was going to do to provide for my family.

I had sent my resume out to places. None of which felt right. I was experiencing a crazy amount of resistance each and every time I sent in my resume. Feeling this way, in my opinion, made it so that I wasn't getting any solid leads or calls from these jobs.

My friend Bre let me know that the place she works was hiring. So, I got my resume in. I got a call to come in and interview. I felt like the interview had gone well. I had heard AMAZING things about this company and it sounded like something that I wanted to be a part of. The next week I got a call saying that they had decided to hire from internally. BUT, that she sent my resume over to another department's manager that was hiring. Not long after that, I got a call to interview with them. So, I did last week. I hadn't heard anything yet and I was beginning to feel super anxious.

I'd done a lot of praying and setting positive intentions, wholeheartedly. I have felt for awhile now that everything was going to be okay...That I needed to trust, and be patient. So, even though I wasn't a huge fan of that answer, I listened.

Today, I got a call from the original manager that had interviewed me. She said that they gave her some more positions to fill in her department, asked if I was still interested, when I said yes, she asked when I could start.

When I got off the phone with her, I wanted to scream, jump, yell, run around!! I was SO freaking happy and excited and AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then, I cried...My heart felt swollen with gratitude. I still feel that way. I'm tearing up as I'm writing this.

I got the job...
I'm going to finally be in a position that will allow me to truly make it so I can become self sufficient. I will be able to take care of my family. And, because my Beachbody stuff is my OWN, I get to work it when I can, from home. So, not only will I get to work for a company that I'm stoked to work for, I will also be able to continue to build my business with Beachbody on the side.

I am filled from head to toe with gratitude.

-c